DBKP Eye Cleanse for Men

[ABOVE: Jessica Alba--click image to enlarge]

As a public service, we’ve decided to put up a pic we can link to when we need something to cleanse the eye.

This is for those times the surfer has stumbled across something so horrible, they want to poke a sharp stick in their mind’s eye.

Now, there’s no need to do that. Bookmark, click, and repeat as often as necessary.

Feel better?

Graphic Pic of the Day

The real victims of global warming?

From I Own the World’s e-Mails My Mother Sends Me.

NOTE: Upon closer inspection, this reminded me of something out of Calvin and Hobbes. Just about 14 years ago, the last Calvin & Hobbes cartoon made its appearance: The Day Calvin and Hobbes Died.

BEFORE SPREADING RUMORS AND GOSSIP, APPLY SOCRATES’ THREE FILTERS TEST

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?” “Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?” This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out his best friend was banging his wife.

image: Doc.walk

Robert “The Tool” Gibbs

Diary of a Tool
December 1 2009

Dear Diary,

Today I snuck in another “unprecedented” in describing the Boss’ Afghan policy. I think I might be unprecedented in how many times I’ve used that word!

Hamma Time!

Gibbs’ interview on Obama’s handling of Afghanistan (via Gibbs Goes Beyond Self-Parody, Calls President’s Decision on Afghanistan “Unprecedented”

Q: Al Qaida really isn’t much of a presence in Afghanistan anymore anyhow, so why not chase them into Pakistan or into the Horn of Africa?

GIBBS: Well, look. I think this Administration has taken the fight to Al Qaida unlike any that we’ve ever seen.

MAYBE THEY’LL TAKE A HOLIDAY!

From Pittsburgh School District Leads Nation In Ability To Spell ‘Roethlisberger’:

PITTSBURGH—Just four years ago, then-eighth-grader Heather Lawler had no idea how to spell Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s last name. She would often eliminate the “e” after the “o,” or place an extra vowel before the “l.”

Sometimes, she even wrote out the last six letters as “burger.”

Now a high school senior, Lawler is just one of thousands of Pittsburgh students who will graduate with the ability to spell Roethlisberger in the 97th percentile, a statistic that puts her head and shoulders above millions of students across the United States.

Read the entire comprehensive report at the link above, the fine folks at The Onion.

Ah, the People’s Cube.

When things look darkest, the soothing sounds of Progressive Humor is music to Socialist ears. This Thanksgiving, let’s give thanks for humor.

From Progressive Thanksgiving Prayer: Blessing of the Taxes:
This year’s secular Thanksgiving prayer was written by the People’s Economist Professor Kurgman, PhD,PhD,PhD

As much as I abhor Christianity, I occasionally attend progressive churches in my community – as long as the pastor expounds on socialism and its variants like environmental causes, and the rights of the oppressed masses of gays, wymyn, African-Americans, Palestinians, Hugo Chavez, and Hezbollah. Our local pastor, thank Lenin, rarely talks about anything else. He even asked me, a Marxist, to compose a prayer for this week’s Thanksgiving sermon. Now, everybody knows that Thanksgiving observance does nothing more than perpetuate the Holocaust of the Native American. What positive meaning could be found in such a grotesquely shameful holiday? Well, my admirable laser-sharp mind of an economist with three PhDs immediately found a brilliant, socially significant answer.

by GroupThink, People’s Cube.
[MORE at the link above.]

If you’re surfing and have some time to kill, the People’s Cube will fill the time and your needs for mirth. Unless you’re a humorless prole.

In which case, you should and will be shot.

CHAOS!

Freedom Fighters Interrupt White House Turkey Photo Op

The scene: the White House.

The time: immediately before President Obama conducts the annual pardoning of the Thanksgiving turkey. A tradition that’s 60-years-old.

Suddenly, chaos!

Armed fighters from the Turkeys United For Freedom (TUFF) crash the photo op! Taken by surprise, the Secret Service agents are no match for these motivated, well-armed turkeys. They free their brother from what TUFF has called, “a White House show trial”.

Our plucky president is concerned.

President Obama quickly goes in front of the still-rolling TV cameras to address a shaken nation.

“Good afternoon. I’d like to give a shout out to the Indians who helped the Pilgrims almost 300 years ago. Without their help, I don’t see how it’s possible that I would be here today speaking to you.

I want to tell you all that I’m unhurt. I also want to assure the nation that we will not rest until these perpetrators are brought to justice. I would caution everyone not to jump to any conclusions.

But Karl Rove did this.”

The former Bush chief-of-staff was quickly rounded up. But Rove had an airtight alibi: at the time of the “Turkey Incident”, he’d been stealing money from poor people and promoting fascism.

And he had witnesses: hundreds of liberal bloggers had already written about it.

WHAT happened next?
Continue reading: Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon Ceremony Gone Bad

by Mondo Frazier
images:
#7 – seattletimes.nwsource.com