John Edwards Paternity Confession: Edwards Confesses–For Real This Time!

EDWARDS’ CONFESSES TO PATERNITY OF
FRANCES QUINN HUNTER

–UPDATE at End of Story

John Edwards came clean about something that’s been known for months to everyone but those unfortunate people who depend upon the mainstream media for news: He’s the father of Frances Quinn Hunter. Frances Quinn is the love child of Edwards and his mistress, Rielle Hunter (Lisa Druck).

It was a sordid story, uncovered and pursued relentlessly by the National Enquirer. DBKP helped out along the way, filing over 150 stories on the Weasel who would be King (Edwards) and his string of highly-implausible denials, parsings and outright lies. These were believed by few outside the circle of die-hard Edwards true believers–which included almost everyone in the press who isn’t named Mickey Kaus.

It’s only fitting we quote the National Enquirer’s story:

JOHN EDWARDS ADMITS PATERNITY TO WORLD!

NATIONAL ENQUIRER investigation vindicated as former Senator John Edwards FINALLY admits to the world what The ENQUIRER has been telling you all along that John Edwards IS the father of his mistress Rielle Hunter’s love child, Frances Quinn.

Believed to be a preemptive strike by the disgraced two time Presidential Loser before former loyalist Andrew Young’s interview on 20/20 to promo new tell- all The Politician, Edwards attorney released a statement this morning first to NBC Today Show and then media around the world:

“I AM FRANCES QUINN’S FATHER.

“I will do everything in my power to provide her with the love and support she deserves.

“I have been able to spend time with her during the past year and trust that future efforts to show her the love and affection she deserves can be done privately and in peace.”

Readers will notice that the savvy Enquirer refrained from using the word “confession” in its headline: Edwards supposedly did that when he appeared on ABC’s Nightline in a lawyerly exhibition of an almost lie-a-minute late night gabfest. That was back in August 2008; the 8th to be exact.

We’re not yet that savvy.

We would like to be big enough to not say “we told you so.” And we won’t. But here’s a link to our John Edwards Scandal Library of DBKP stories.
It’s enlightening to read some of the outlandish comments posted by Edwards’ supporters (and supposedly by Elizabeth Edwards herself, posting under the alias of “Cherubim”) at the time.

However, those comments don’t hold a candle to the venom spewed by Democratic Underground and similar sites where the idea that a Democrat presidential candidate was anything than mortal was itself an outlandish idea.

Edwards did indeed preempt Andrew Young, but it makes no difference: the real question is, will he be able to outfox the grand jury in North Carolina? If the prosecutors read DBKP–and we don’t know that they don’t, but couldn’t say if we knew–they will have more than enough evidence to ensure that Mr. Edwards has a comfy home away from home in a secure federal facility somewhere.

UPDATE: After listening to GMA’s video of the announcement, one other thing that Edwards said was something to the effect, “I know I denied being the father of Quinn and someday, when she understands, I hope she’ll forgive me.”

When she understands?!?!?

What a weasel. The only thing she’ll need to understand about why Edwards denied her is three little letters: CYA.

Cover your ass.

MORE: HA has the video: Father of the Decade?
Michelle Malkin also weighs in: The soap opera of John Edwards

Our only comment: it would be a fine soap opera–if it weren’t for all of the blatant campaign finance laws that were broken to pay for Edwards’ soap.

UPDATE #2: The reliably-funny Jim Treacher has Rielle Hunter FAQ at his new Daily Caller gig. Check it out. I’m going to peruse it to see if he got anything wrong…

by Mondo Frazier
image: DBKP file

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