Slade Smiley Poses with Sock on “Mr. Happy”‘

Tamra Barney Continues Campaign to Clean Up the Whores in Orange County

New Housewife Alexis Bellino is Introduced to the Show

“I don’t give a crap about Gretchen, in fact, she doesn’t even exist in my world”.
–Tamra Barney Quote of the Week

Last week’s episode of Real Housewives was about “class”, with Tamra Barney’s husband Simon’s stern warning to his wife, when around Gretchen Rossi, to “act classy”, and, to “have some class”. Plus, the resulting catfight when Tamara failed to heed Simon’s warning and received a resounding “shut the f#$k up” from Gretchen. Luckily for Tamra, Lynne Curtain wasn’t serving Calvin Klein’s Cream Pies:

We posted a transcript of the Gretchen-Tamra altercation in Real Housewives of Orange County: Gretchen Tamra Catfight!

Vicki’s Quote of the Show:

“I’ve been doing this show for five years with these bitches. I just don’t understand why these women can’t get along.”

After Gretchen’s rather emphatic warning to “shut up”, Tamra threw in the towel with an “I quit” and then left with cohort Vicki.

Lynne, Jeana Keough, and Gretchen talked about Tamra, with Gretchen saying Tamra was “evil” and that Gretchen hadn’t done anything to Tamra to deserve Tamra’s attacks. Jeana said that you had to understand Tamra’s “background”. Gretchen interjected: “She’s white trash!”

Jeana: “It doesn’t matter if you had ten boyfriends, you were single. Why is she judging you?”

Gretchen: “Forget judging, honey, she had completely defamed me. She defamed me in my relationship with Jeff. Like the guy’s not even here to defend himself anymore. Who does that? Who does that to guy that’s six feet under?”

Vicki and Tamra were filmed walking down the hall at the St. Regis talking about Gretchen. Tamra stated that Gretchen wouldn’t have dated Jeff if he’d been poor and that Gretchen had taken that “old man for a ride for $1.7 million”.

This statement by Tamra, which she stated earlier during the dinner, that Gretchen’s fiance, Jeff Beitzel, was an “old man” is a hoot: Jeff was 54, the same age as Jeana, while Lynne is 52, and Vicki, 48. In one fell swoop, Tamra painted two of the Housewives as “old women”, with Vicki Gunvalson on the “cusp” of “old age”. Using Tamra’s math, in 12 years, Tamra will be an “old woman”.

Tamra then stated that Gretchen is a “filthy, nasty whore” which is yet another bizarre statement from the woman who, last season, used her older son Ryan in a scheme to get Gretchen, “naked wasted drunk” at Tamra’s “fancy” dinner party.

Tamra then stated that Gretchen has a “poor” reputation in Orange County and that Tamra doesn’t want to be around “people like that”.

Speaking of “reputations”, the other day I read on other sites comments about the Gretchen-Tamra “conflict”. I found that the vast majority of the comments were in favor of Gretchen, while Tamra’s reputation, at least across the U.S., was that of a “back-stabbing”, “mean” woman who “talked about” Gretchen “behind her back”, and, that Gretchen’s private life wasn’t Tamra’s “business”. Some even chastised Tamra, telling her to “knock it off”, to try this season “to be a better person”, and to “show more class”.

Lynne was in tears over her now ruined designer cuff show and dinner for the Housewives.

Gretchen’s Tanning Party

Gretchen, who, set up a portable tanning booth party on the patio, said that after the St. Regis she really needed to get together with her friends. Slade Smiley, the serial Real Housewives “hook-up” guy and Gretchen’s boyfriend helped Gretchen “set up” the party. In attendance, Gretchen’s mom and several people, who, despite Gretchen’s “rotten reputation” as the “whore of Orange County” decided to attend. The topic of conversation turned to Tamra with Gretchen regaling everyone with Tamra’s “assessment” of Gretchen.

Slade weighed in: “Tamra’s never been successful at anything. Ever. And unless she’s talking *bleep* on someone, she’s got nothing to talk about.”

Lynne and her youngest daughter showed up and Gretchen apologized for things getting “crazy” last night, and, for Lynne to not “worry about it”, that Lynne could be friends with both Gretchen and Tamra.

Lynne’s 16-yr-old daughter Alexa asked her if she could have a beer. Lynne said no way, then later, off-camera, said she couldn’t believe her daughter did that, that Lynne was “mortified”. Gretchen told Lynne’s daughter that “alcohol wasn’t a good thing, trust me I know”. And then…

Slade called Tamra over to the portable tanning bed where he stood inside, naked, a black sock over “Mr. Happy”, with the door of the tanning bed wide open in front of several of Gretchen’s friends and, the camera.

For those unfamiliar with Slade and his tendency to pose in the nude, as well as Slade Smiley’s own “success” we compiled some interesting info in DBKP’s Slade Smiley, Gretchen Rossi: Real Housewives of Orange County’s Jetsetting Deadbeat Dad?.

Gretchen wore a teeny bikini for her tan job where viewers were treated to shots of Gretchen’s well-shaped ass. Lynne, who, at 52, and in great shape, decided she didn’t want tan lines, so she went topless. At one point, Lynne put her arms up, exposing her breasts so Gretchen did the right thing and used her hands to cover Lynne’s boobs. Gretchen said, “so Lynne and I, we got to second base in the tanning tent. I never knew we were so tight”.

Meanwhile, Vicki and Tamra had lunch at a swank restaurant where the two talked about getting together for the upcoming Fourth of July, the fiasco at the St. Regis, and where Vicki grilled Tamra on Simon’s “income”. Tamra said that Simon was still in the tequila business and that their income was down. Tamra told Vicki that she and Simon were selling their house. Off-camera Tamra stated that the couple “owed” more on their house than “it was worth”, and that if they didn’t sell it now, they’d lose money. Tamra stated that they paid “$2,000 a month in property taxes”. Off-camera Vicki stated that Tamra needs to “go out and get a job”.

On to Jeana at home:

Jeana, who sells properties over the $2 million range, stated that she’d had to sell a “couple of watches”, “cars”, and some art to get through her own tough times. Jeana was showing a house that, if she could sell the $12 million furnished, $9 million unfurnished property, the commission, over $300,000, would be enough for Jeana to keep her home. According to Jeana the home she was trying to sell was worth $16 million two years ago, and that now was a “great time to buy”. Jeana stated that since she was being supported she’d just have to “step up her game” and “work harder”.

Next up: Vicki and daughter Briana, who just got a degree in nursing, were packing for a trip to Italy. Also on the trip: Vicki’s mother.

Next: Gretchen and Slade get ready for a Garage Sale

Gretchen and Slade finally get the garage sale ready to go. Gretchen stated that while she’s been portrayed as a “golddigger”, and that her deceased finance was worth a “bazillion dollars”, and that she’d inherited “millions”, that number “wasn’t even close”.

Lynne’s Quote of the Episode: “I feel like my face has fallen and it can’t get up.”

Next: Lynne and her oldest daughter, 19, arrive for their appointment at a cosmetic surgeon’s office. (Last week, Lynne stated that her husband’s business for the last two years had been the “roughest” in the company’s career.)

Lynne wanted a “younger” face while her daughter Raquel is getting the bump on her nose removed and the end “refined” in order to, in Lynne’s words, “boost” Raquel’s “confidence”.

Off to Rome….

Sadly, Vicki had to cope with getting the women’s luggage-four of the seven were Vicki’s, including a laptop and books-up the stairs of the hotel. Luckily, the Italians saved the day with a bellhop. Before the three women had left the lobby, Vicki’s mother said she was ready to go home. The elevator was “coffin-sized” while the $575 per night suite was “too small”. The three had a guide and a car to see the sights of Rome and also went shopping.

Next, Lynne took her two daughters to Anastasia’s, a swank restaurant, where Alexa tried to tell her sister that Raquel was “perfect” the way she was and didn’t need the nose job. Lynne informed Alexa that Lynne was getting a face-lift. Alexa’s reaction: she looked upset, said she didn’t feel good, then told Lynne in the restroom that she didn’t want her mother and sister to “change”. Alexa told her sister that she’d gotten an expensive car her last birthday and now she was getting a nose job, while all Alexa got on her last birthday was a cake.

Off-camera, Alexa stated that her sister and her mother were getting “too materialistic”.

Alexa’s reaction may have been more about the “money” as, behind the scenes, the family was in the process of facing eviction from their rented Laguna Beach home. Bravo Fan has more.

Next up: Tamra fires the maid.

Tamra stated that the $500 a month cleaning lady was a thing of the past while the kids were shown tackling the chores.

Next: Jeana and daughter Kara on a “curtailed” shopping spree.

Kara, 21, stated that she’s transferred to UCLA, her “dream school”, now workds as a waitress, and that she was “loving it”. Kara aid that she’s paying for her own rent, and that she liked it. No word yet on whether Lynne’s daughter Raquel, 19, has found a job, or, applied for school.

Jeana and Kara talked about the Gretchen-Tamra spat at the St. Regis where Kara asked “aren’t you glad” you’re no longer their friends?” Jeana replied, “yes, I’m so tired of their pettiness. They need to work it out among themselves”. Even so, Jeana defended Gretchen, saying Tamra should have “just let it go”.

Next: Vicki discovers Italians waiters weren’t “floored” by her “blond” looks.

During an outing at an Italian bistro, Vicki opined that her “good” looks didn’t translate to Italian waiters giving her “favored” treatment. Even so, it seemed Vicki, her mother, and daughter had a great time and that the trip would, in Vicki’s words, translate into “wonderful memories”.

Next: Simon and Tamra have dinner with new Housewife Alexis Bellino and husband Jim.

Alexis is perhaps the only Housewife to have a pool table collection named after her: the Alexis Collection at Pool Table USA. We wrote about Alexis in Real Housewives of Orange County: Alexis Bellino, Bravo’s Wild Card in Season Five Mix and Jim’s “businesses”, where the couple resides, and the new dynamic Bravo added this season: “hotter”, younger, and richer Housewife Alexis.

According to Tamra, Simon and Jim already knew each other through “business” and Simon thought she and Alexis would “get along”. Using Tamra’s “math”, Jim is close to being an “old man” as he’s 47, while Alexis is 32. The couple have three small kids, a boy, 3, and twin girls, age 2.

During the dinner Alexis and Jim talked about how they felt they were soulmates and that they rarely spent time away from each other. Off-camera, Tamra said that Alexis and Jim were the way she and Simon were ten years ago. Alexis and Jim sat glued together and occasionally exchanged a kiss while Tamra and Simon sat apart and occasionally glanced at each other with less than “soulmate” looks.

Simon was astonished when Alexis made a up a plate of appetizers for Jim then Jim stated Alexis even “buttered his bread”. Tamra told Alexis and Jim that she and Simon had a “love-hate” relationship, either they loved each other or hated each other. Alexis stated: “we fight hard, then love even harder!” The conversation then turned to Alexis and Jim “counseling” Tamra and Simon on “marriage”.

Next up: Tamra gets the “bad news” details on selling her home.

A realtor friend of the Barney’s came to the Barney’s home to give Simon and Tamra info on selling their house. Tamra admitted off-camera that money issues were causing a “lot of tension” between she and Simon. The couple admitted they had “zero” equity in their home. Tamra was shown crying about having to sell their home.

Next episode: Jeana says goodbye, and it’s not a pretty sight as Vicki and Tamra talk trash behind Jeana’s back, while Tamra discovers newest Housewife Alexis is formidable competition in the “hottest” Housewife category.

By LBG

Image – AllThingsPulp.com
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