Real Housewives of Orange County: Gretchen Tamra Catfight!

Gretchen Admits She’s Been a Bad Girl, Gets Smiley with Slade, Squares off with Tamra

Jeana’s Money Woes, Vicki’s “Softer” Side, Lynne Corners the Designer Cuff Market

Real Housewive’s “Catfight!”

They’re back! It’s season five of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange County and the first episode’s theme was about class: “acting classy”, “being classy”, and, exhibiting a total “lack of class” with a “cat fight” at the end of the show.

The episode included Gretchen’s admission of “being bad” and the man she’s chosen to include in her life, former Real Housewives “pro”, Slade Smiley. We have to give Gretchen credit, as the producers flashed several of the photos of Gretchen that are circulating across the web. Photos such as “almost naked, wasted” Gretchen perched on a toilet clad in a teeny bikini top and cowboy hat, while Gretchen confessed she’d been “misbehaving” after fiance Jeff Beitzel’s death last September. Gretchen admitted her new “love” is Slade Smiley, whom, she said, she’d known eight years and, that while she still wasn’t over Jeff, maybe someday Slade would be Gretchen’s husband and the “father of her children”.

It’s easy to like Gretchen as she’s got a great sense of humor and seems to be a genuinely likable person. Last season Gretchen was treated rather shabbily by Vicki and Tamra. Especially Tamra, who, this season, seems to have temporary amnesia regarding her formal dinner party, and her and her son Ryan’s efforts to get Gretchen “naked wasted” drunk in order to “compromise” Gretchen-a prime example of not being “classy” behavior. Or, Tamra’s attempt to “expose” Gretchen as an alleged “golddigger” who purportedly “cheated” on Jeff while he was in the hospital, on last season’s reunion show.

In episode one, Vicki went skydiving with daughter Brianna. After the jump, which Vicki apparently hated, declared to her daughter, “we’re never doing this again!” Later, Vicki stated that last season she was too hard on Donn and that both she and Donn had vowed to “relate” to one another in a “relaxed” fashion. Vicki and Tamra got together for a “light” lunch where they talked about Gretchen’s lack of “class”: the internet photos of Gretchen-Tamra specifically spoke of one that included a vibrator with a cord-and Gretchen’s new “love” Slade Smiley. Later, Tamra continued to obsess over the vibrator and Gretchen’s “va-jay-jay” in a rather mean spirited personal attack on Gretchen during Lynne’s designer cuff show and Housewife dinner get-together.

Vicki and Tamra agreed that Slade is an “opportunist”. Tamra stated that Slade had “bagged” his third housewife-the other two were Jo De La Rosa, who has since faded from the reality tv limelight, and former Housewife Lauri Waring, who briefly “dated” Slade before she met future husband George Peterson. Tamra also stated that she had “liked” Gretchen better before Gretchen had taken up with Slade.

For those who are unfamiliar with Slade, we recently compiled a dossier on Orange County’s “Jetsetting Deadbeat Dad”. A dossier that includes failure to pay back child support for a young son battling a malignant brain tumor. In the show, Gretchen stated she’s known Slade for eight years. In our deadbeat dad dossier, Slade was arrested-which is verifiable-back in February on a warrant for failure to pay $10,000 in back child support. It’s also been alleged that Slade was arrested at Gretchen’s home and that Slade had a suspended license and fake car tags.

During the Vicki-Tamra luncheon, “classy” Vicki stated that the last time she’d spoken to Jeanna-six weeks earlier-Jeanna was having financial woes and had asked to borrow money, and, that when Vicki refused, she and Jeanna hadn’t spoken since. We’re not sure where this behavior falls in the guidelines of “friends” and “friendship”, announcing on tv that your friend had asked to borrow money because she was in dire straits, and, that you’d turned her down.

Jeana opened the season declaring that her income had dropped 2/3 due to the economic downturn, then asked son Colton, now 17, to help her with her finances. Jeana said that it was “weird to have to think” before she bought something, that she’d never had to do it before. Jeana talked to Colton about putting her home on the market, that she believed she could be happy with a “5,000 sq ft home”.

“Hottest” housewife Tamra Barney and husband Simon threw a wrap party for her daughter Sidney’s theater class. Part of the wrap party consisted of the class-all girls-arriving in a limo, then walking up a red carpet to Tamra’s home with Tamra “interviewing” the kids with a microphone. In one incident, Simon told Tamra to knock off making remarks in front of the kids with her friend about “teabags”. Later, Simon asked Tamra to “show a little class” and not talk about “teabags”-a sexual connotation-while Tamra pointed out that she wasn’t the one who said it. Also, Tamra stated that “Simon is so uptight” that he needed to “take a shot of tequila” and that maybe the two have a “love-hate” relationship, with Simon “hating her” while she “loved” him. Tamra was also shown attending an exercise class with Lynne.

Gretchen was in her garage selecting items for a garage sale while a very scruffy looking Slade gave her advice on what to get rid of then goofed around with the Harley bike Jeff gave Gretchen shortly before his death. Off camera, Gretchen spoke about fiance Jeff and the nine months he spent in the hospital, dating Slade, and the fact that no matter what she did, people would still “talk about her”. Gretchen said she thought “it was so funny”, a “perfect Melrose Place”, that Slade had had relationships with former Housewives Jo De La Rosa and Lauri Waring.

The Housewives camera crew followed Lynne as she worked out production details on her new line of designer cuffs, a trunk show, and a cuff show and dinner held for the Housewives at the St. Regis. Lynne said that the last two years had been the “roughest years” for her husband Frank’s construction business. Upcoming previews for next week showed Lynn and her oldest daughter at a plastic surgeon’s office where Lynn wants her neck and face “new and improved” and her daughter, a newly sculpted nose.

Prior to Lynne’s cuff show and dinner, Simon inspected Tamra’s outfit then gave her kudos for “no cleavage showing” and said that she “usually showed everything”. Simon then instructed Tamra to “show some class” around “what’s her name” and to “keep it classy”. Some of Simon’s behavior towards his wife, of continually telling her to be “classy” while watching her like a hawk, may stem from her “performance” last season. A performance that included modeling erotic lingerie at the store, and, later, for Simon in their hotel room during their tenth anniversary celebratory trip. Tamra conspiring with son Ryan to get Gretchen drunk at Tamra’s dinner party, then boasting to Vicki of her “plans” to get Gretchen “naked wasted”. And, of Tamra at Lake Havasu on a houseboat, fondling Simon through his swim trunks in full view of friends and their kids.

Gretchen, while getting ready for Lynne’s cuff party stated that she didn’t want to be around Tamra “at all” but that she’d chosen to go to “support” Lynne, and that Gretchen would be the “classy lady that I normally am until there’s an issue”.

Lynne’s designer cuff show and dinner was purportedly the “first” time the women had gotten together since last season’s reunion. During the “cuff” showing, the women managed to “behave”. Off camera, Jeanna stated that “when times get tough you know who your friends are” and that when Jeanna was struggling financially, Vicki had taken her business to another friend who was a real estate agent. Jeanna said “that’s okay, but there’s a little character issue there”. Vicki declined trying on any of Lynne’s designer cuffs, that she preferred “diamonds” and that Lynne’s “biker look” was a style Vicki “wasn’t that fond of”. Gretchen admitted (off-camera) that she “didn’t have any intention of “clearing the air”. Gretchen said “that if Tamra looked at me, or touched me, I would drop kick her and shove her teeth through her head so that they popped out through her eyeballs”.

Off-camera Vicki stated that she was “with a bunch of women other than Tamra that I would never want to be around”, and that Vicki would “never be friends with Gretchen”.

Game On!

It was when the Housewives sat down for dinner that the “claws” came out, and here’s how it “started”:

Once the wine had been poured, Lynne thanked everyone for coming and being “so supportive”. Jeana said it was “so nice to see all of you together again, and I’m so happy to be here for your cuffs” to Lynne.

Gretchen chimed in: “I think we came here to be here for Lynne and that I don’t think we (looks over at Tamra) wanted to be in the same room”.

Tamra responded: “Game on!”

Lynne tried to steer the conversation back to the reason why they were there while Tamra stated that they “didn’t have to all get along, and, that they didn’t have to like each other”. (According to Tamra’s later comments, it’s “okay” to hate one another, tell people that they make Tamra’s “skin crawl”, call people names such as “whore”, “horrible person”, and, someone who “preys on old men”.)

Jeana: “But we should respect each other and, not hurt each other”.

Gretchen replied: “That always happens, so I don’t know how to do that”.

Jeana said, “Apologies are important”, then Gretchen replied, “I don’t think that some people at this table know how to apologize though”.

Tamra responded: “If I had something to apologize for I’d apologize about”.

Lynne: “Who feels that someone owes them an apology right now?”

Gretchen: “We all owe each other an apology for what happened last year. For the way we treated each other.”

Several of the wives chimed in, then, Gretchen said to Tamra, “The thing between you and me in the press was ridiculous. All we do is go back and forth.”

Lynne chimed in: “Because of one person though, probably because of that ‘one’ man.”

Gretchen: “Yeah. Absolutely is.”

Lynne spoke to Tamra: “Caused the whole problem between you two.”

Gretchen: “But then, I, that’s not me”.

Lynne: “Your poor choice in men”.

(Ouch!)

Gretchen replied: “It was my poor choice to be friends with him, absolutely”, and that if Tamra “has a problem, she should have a problem with him, not with me.”

Vicki weighed in: “I think it’s more than Jay. (Off camera Vicki talked about Gretchen, that “Gretchen comes round likes she’s wholesome and everything” and there’s “a lot that people that don’t know about Gretchen, and Tamra is tired of Gretchen looking like the good girl when there’s a lot that’s not been exposed. I agree that Gretchen has been out of line in bringing Tamra into this.)

Back to the “dinner party” and Tamra: “He was the core of it all and he made me doubt everything and I just don’t think that the stars are aligned for us because every time there’s an apology something happens.”

Gretchen: “Are you kidding me? Every single time that you say that you want to have a truce and that you want to be friends and that you want to work it out, you go to the press and you say something.”

Tamra: “I don’t talk to the press, Gretchen.”

Gretchen: “Are you kidding me? The only time when you’re in the press is when you’re talking about me.”

Tamra: “If you’ve seen something I’ve written about you, then forward it to me and call me and ask me.”

Gretchen: “Tamra! Back in the day, when this all started, I did that with you and then you did not live up to your word, so that’s why I was done with it.”

Tamra: “I’m not in the press. I stay in my house and take care of my kids. I’m not in the press.”

Lynne looking at Tamra: “Wait a minute. I had something that was said about me that I want to clear up. Gretchen said that you said Gretchen and myself make your skin crawl.”

Tamra: “I never said that. That’s a lie. That’s a lie.” Tamra pointed at Gretchen then said “you make my skin crawl. Not Lynne, no, you and Slade. You and Slade. Lynne does not make my skin crawl, honey.”

The conversation degenerated even further with Tamra saying that all she had to do was turn on her computer to see photos of vibrators up Gretchen’s “va-jay-jay” and “you screaming” and something about Gretchen’s “nipples”.

(Note to Tamra: There is a solution. Stop “googling” Gretchen!)

Gretchen tried to argue that one shouldn’t believe everything they read and see on the internet, that when people read that Tamra’s a “whore” and “losing her house”, people should “just believe it?”.

Tamra responded: “Honey, I get phone calls daily about stuff. You have a bad reputation, a “horrible, horrible, horrible reputation,” and that Tamra didn’t want to be “part of somebody like that. I don’t want to be known as the … the girl, the hooker in Orange County. I don’t want to be your friend.”

Jeana chimed in: “Oh my God, that’s hurtful.”

Vicki: “You guys are not going to be friends, but we are going to see each other and we can’t fight.”

Jeana: “At least you know why you’re mad at each other.”

Tamra to Gretchen: “Bring it on!”

Jeana: “Tamra, that’s not productive.”

Tamra: “What a minute, productive for what? I don’t do it, Jeana. You’re buying her bullshit?

Jeana: “What kind of bullshit? I’ve read the stuff too.”

Tamra, now incensed at Jeanna: “Why even go there? You don’t even know.”

Jeana: “But I’m saying, that if somebody…”

Tamra, now yelling at Jeana: “What she (Gretchen) isn’t saying isn’t her fault? All the lies? But when I say it, you’ve got to stick up for the underdog?”

Gretchen: “You have a problem with me, tell me to my face.”

Tamra: “I don’t have a problem with you, I told you, I don’t like you.”

Gretchen: “Tamra! You do have a problem with me. Every time I turn around you’re talking about me.”

Tamra: “No, I don’t.”

Gretchen: “Yes, you do. That’s not the truth, Tamra. It’s not the truth.”

Tamra: “You’re an angel, Gretchen.”

Gretchen: “I never said I’m an angel. Never.”

Tamra: “Thank God.”

More arguing between Gretchen and Tamra, then Tamra said, “you know what Gretchen, you’re all over the internet with vibrators up your “woo-hoo”…”

Gretchen: “So what?”

Jeana: “She’s single, she’s allowed.”

Tamra: “Oh my God, she preys on old men.”

(This remark from Tamra, that Gretchen “preys on old men” was a hoot! The “old” man Tamra referred to was Gretchen’s now deceased fiance Jeff Beitzel. If Jeff was an “old man”, then, according to Tamra, Vicki, who’s 47, is “about to be old”, while Jeana, who’s the same age as Jeff when he died, 54, and Lynne, who’s 52, are “old” women!)

Tamra went on to say that Gretchen played the “victim” and portrayed herself as “such an angel”.

Gretchen: “No! This is not me being the victim. This is me telling you to shut the f*$*k up!”

It’s interesting to note that during the argument Tamra responded by making personal attacks on Gretchen’s character, calling her a “horrible” person, a “golddigger” who “preys on old men”, the “hooker in Orange County”, someone who “made Vicki’s skin crawl”, and, Tamra referred to Gretchen’s vagina and a vibrator, not once, but twice. Gretchen responded to Tamra’s numerous personal attacks by telling Tamra to “shut the f$#$k up”.

Even so, just whose behavior, Gretchen’s, or Tamra’s, in regards to their treatment towards one another could be construed as “horrible”? Who was it that admitted they “got daily phone calls”, calls that implied dishing nasty gossip? Who used her grown son to ply the other with alcohol in order to get them “naked wasted drunk” on a reality show? After that particular incident, who was it that didn’t seek “revenge”, or call the perpetrators, “horrible” people, when the term was an apt description? And who is it that continues to be “obsessed” with “exposing” the other person and their private sex life?

By LBG

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Tags: Bravo, catfight, episode one, Gretchen Rossi, Real Housewives of Orange County, Season Five, Slade Smiley, Tamra Barney