Top Idiots Of The Week
Nancy Morgan
RightBias.com November 23, 2009
AND THE WINNER IS:
The British Arts Council wins top spot this week. They gave £14,000 of taxpayer money to an epileptic dancer to quit taking her meds so she could have an epileptic seizure on stage. This ‘art’ is being billed as a study of the “conceptual and physical interfaces between dance, movement and epilepsy.†Talk about cutting edge….
SECOND PLACE:
The United Nations Population Fund comes in a close second. They actually said the battle against [non-existent] global warming could be helped if only there were more free condoms. Who knew?
HONORABLE MENTION:
Virtual reality got a big boost when a male idiot actually married a video game character, Nene Anegasaki from game Love Plus. The two were married when a male idiot brought his DS along with a copy of Love Plus to a church in Guam. I kid you not. We wish them virtual happiness.
A henpecked husband took drastic action when his wife nailed him over his boozing. Sozzled Lin Ma’s disapproving spouse Su, 60, got on his case when he returned from a drinking binge. So he showed her – he took an eight inch nail and knocked it in to his own skull. That’ll teach her!
Harvard University merits a mention in our Idiot Awards. They actually had disgraced former Gov. Eliot Spitzer give a lecture on, you guessed it, ethics. Maybe the real idiots are all those parents that continue shelling out the big bucks to hear this poop.
The State of Florida makes this week’s list. Apparently Florida is looking for help finding something you’d think would be hard to lose; approximately 18,000 buildings, owned by the taxpayers of Florida, that state officials can’t quite put their fingers on.
An Asheville eye doctor got in big trouble for telling a patient she was irresponsible for being unemployed, on Medicaid, and relying on taxpayers to cover another pregnancy after giving birth less than a year earlier. He should have known that you’re just not allowed to say that stuff.
Last, but not least: Did you know there are such things as idiotic book sellers? I didn’t either, until I heard that many booksellers in San Francisco decided that no-one in their right mind would buy Palin’s new book. The same book that sold a whopping 300,000 copies on day one alone. Hey guys, the market system isn’t dead quite yet.
CRIMINAL IDIOTS:
A burglar dropped his unemployment check and daily planner when he beat it out a bedroom after being caught in the act by residents. Oops.
A man charged with first-degree murder in the killing of a gay teenager in Puerto Rico will likely use “gay panic” as a defense. Hey, it might just work. Sigh.
A California man on disability was spotted by tax officials when he appeared on a home improvement TV show. Ahh, the price of fame…
RightBias has been forced to add yet another category to the growing list of Idiot Awards:
MOST MORONIC MEDIA STATEMENTS:
The father of Sarah Palin’s grandson, sperm donor Levi Johnston, wins top place in a hotly contested field: He told Life and Style Magazine, “If I’m a gay icon, so be it. I guess it’s a compliment.” I’m actually embarrassed for this idiot.
For all the idiotic women out there who are considering surgery to achieve a ‘designer vagina,’ please note: Many doctors are warning that this surgery may be unsafe.
I leave you with eternal idiot Jane Fonda’s latest: This 71 year-old traitor said her good looks are partly due to having the best sex of her life. I only hope I can get that image out of my mind before dinner.
[...] WINNERS: Idiots of the Week: November 23 2009 [...]
Nancy, welcome back. love your column.
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