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There’s a new version of the Bible set to publish: the Princess Diana Bible, with the Gay Old and Gay New Testament. Adam gets the heave-ho, replaced with Aida. There have been claims of Christian “complaints, yet we believe, in this case, Christian backlash is just what the writer/producer of this silly farce would love to see in his next Christmas stocking.

According to the British paper, the Guardian, American film producer Max Mitchell became “inspired” from a movie he directed, “Horror in the Wind”, where an “airborne formula invented by two biogeneticists reverses the world’s sexual orientation”. The plot included Christians, who “burn all the King James Bibles” and then create the Princess Diana Bible which “says gay is right and “straight” (or heterosexual) is a “sin”.

Mitchell also plans to film a two-part mini-series, The Gay Old Testament, and the Gay New Testament, once his “bible” is completed.

Mitchell stated that there are “many different versions of the Bible” so Mitchell “didn’t see why” he couldn’t “produce” one. Which leads this writer to note that Mitchell’s “bible”, with its rather “silly” title, The Princess Diana Bible, which the Queen probably wouldn’t be “amused”, is more of a publicity ploy to garner attention to Mitchell’s previous film, Horror in the Wind, and his “upcoming” two-part mini-series.

“Horror In The Wind” is set in 2017 when Pat Robertson and James Dobson win the White House with a campaign theme of the “War on Sex.” Robertson spreads an untested sex suppression formula throughout the world. To everyone’s shock, Formula 4708 does not suppress sex drive but changes it. Within a week the entire world is gay. Eventually people prefer it and amend the constitution to ban heterosexual marriage.

Mitchell chose Princess Diana purportedly for her “good works”, yet the moniker of Mitchell’s bible sounds more like a pre-teen girl’s line of toys with the accompanying Aida and Eve dolls sold on Costco’s shelves. The Gay Old Testament, and the Gay New Testament, bring to mind old films such as “The Gay Caballero” or “The Gay Blade”.

Here’s a snippet of the synopsis from the film site, imbd, of Horror in the Wind which has been tagged as sci-fi and comedy:

Yesterday you were a regular, normal heterosexual with a wife and kids like most people but today youre genetically modified. It came in the night and you breathed it in your lungs. It got in your bloodstream and manipulated your identity. Its airborne biogenetic engineering agent (Formula 4708) is splicing your RNA messenger cells without your permission. Your edited RNA messengers tell your brain what cells to supercharge and what cells to deactivate. Yes, your hypothalamic cell cluster is getting smaller. Your anterior commissure growing larger. And theres absolutely nothing you can do about it. Youre gay. You felt different when you woke up but you didnt quite know what it was. You stared at your best friends ass all morning. How are you going to deal with this horror? Will it last forever?

We also found the Horror in the Wind trailer on YouTube with the warning that it contains nudity, looks cheap and cheesy:

Horror in the Wind was produced with a budget of $53,000, and, according to Mitchell was banned:

“Indie comedy “Horror In The Wind,” has been banned by Allen Theaters of New Mexico.”
–PrincessDianaBible.com

And yet, if one takes a step back from the hyperbole, the film wasn’t actually “banned” but was limited to one screening, the fate of many indie films. Mitchell’s claiming the film was “banned” is more an attempt at “cachet” than Mitchell admitting that his film didn’t make the “cut” on other screens across the country.

Was it a Christian “conspiracy” to keep Mitchell’s film, Horror in the Wind, from audiences? We decided to be fair and take a look a films with “gay” plots.

First up, Brokeback Mountain, which premiered in 2005. Brokeback Mountain cost $13,900,000 to produce, and grossed $180,343,761 worldwide.

Mitchell’s film, Horror in the Wind, takes numerous “potshots” at the evangelical community, including Dr. James Dobson. We decided to find other such films that skewer Christians and whether they too, had been “banned”.

According to the New York Magazine, some of the “Ten Most Anti-Christian Movies of All Time” include:

Carrie (1976) - The story of Carrie White, a girl brought up, almost in isolation, by her psychotically religious mother Margaret. Nominated for 2 Oscars, the film was based on a Stephen King novel.

Priest (1994) - A story about a gay Catholic priest and his secret lover, won “Best New British Feature, and Canadian People’s Choice Award.

Footloose (1984) - Rock music banned by preacher in small town, nominated for 2 Oscars.

Dogma (1999) - “An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole and re-enter Heaven.” Nominated for Independent Film and Sierra Award.

Jesus Camp (2006) - Documentary, Oscar nomination.

Evangelicals have been the subject of numerous films. Elmer Gantry, released in 1960, and based on a 1927 novel by Sinclair Lewis, was purportedly a thinly veiled plot based on evangelical Sister Aimee Semple McPherson. The plot: Gantry, in a stunning performance by actor Burt Lancaster, plays a con man accompanied by female evangelical Sharon Falconer, whose character was based on McPherson. Canadian Sister Aimee became popular in the 1920’s and 30’s, and founder of the FourSquare Church.

Even before Elmer Gantry there was the 1932 film, Rain, starring Joan Crawford as the prostitute, Sadie Thompson, and Walter Huston, as a religous zealot who eventually is driven to “madness”. Rain was the second version of W. Somerset Maugham’s morality tale. “Sadie Thompson” was filmed in 1928, before the advent of “talkies” and starred Gloria Swanson as Sadie.

The story unfolds on the Pacific island of Pago Pago–Strictly Ballroom fans will recognize “Pago Pago” and the Pan-Pacific Ballroom Championship–where Sadie is “on the run” from something in her “wild” past. Enter Mr. Davidson, Huston, who prays for Sadie’s salvation while planning to send her back to San Franciso, where she’ll face the authorities for her “wicked ways”. Davidson’s character eventually commits suicide.

Mitchell claims he’s set to begin his two-part mini-series, the Gay Old Testament, and the Gay New Testament, once he’s “completed” his “bible”. A quick look at different published King James Bibles and you find the number of pages range from 1800 to over 2000. It will be interesting to note just how many “pages” Mitchell’s “bible” will be as well as any “original” material other than simply switching genders.

Again, this writer sees Mitchell as merely an opportunist bashing Christians and the bible in order to “drum” up business for his film, Horror on the Wind, and any upcoming film based on his bible. Mitchell’s claim that his film was “banned” was a matter of “stretching” the truth. Horror on the Wind was cheaply produced and poorly written. There have been films since the days of the “silent era”, which have addressed the issue of evangelicals. Many of those films were beautifully written and worth watching. Mitchell’s film, Horror on the Wind, fell well “under the bar”.

In the end, it was the audience, of the glaring lack of, that “doomed” Mitchell’s film. Other indie films, with small budgets and plot lines that some Christians would find “offensive”, managed to attract viewers without the “gimmics” that Mitchell is using to sell his “product”.

By LBG

Image - A Gay Caballero