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–Continued from page 1: Lori Drew MySpace Trial: Will There Be Justice For Megan?

It was Sunday, October 15, 2006, that Megan’s “relationship” with Josh changed. Before, he had shown an avid interest in being “friends” with Megan, on MySpace, a new Josh emerged:

“I don’t know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I’ve heard that you are not very nice to your friends.”

Megan’s parents were the ones who had to log into Megan’s MySpace account if she wanted to access her page and communicate with Josh. As with most parents, life was a mixture of work and raising your children. The fateful day, the day that their daughter took her own life, began like every other day, with no inkling of what would occur, no foresight that events were escalating like a prairie fire, set by a single bolt of lightning, whose white hot flames would engulf their lives and forever change the landscape.

Monday, Oct. 16, 2006, was a rainy, bleak day. At school, Megan had handed out invitations to her upcoming birthday party and when she got home she asked her mother to log on to MySpace to see if Josh had responded.

Why did he suddenly think she was mean? Who had he been talking to?

Tina signed on. But she was in a hurry. She had to take her younger daughter, Allison, to the orthodontist.

Before Tina could get out the door it was clear Megan was upset. Josh still was sending troubling messages. And he apparently had shared some of Megan’s messages with others.

Tina recalled telling Megan to sign off.

“I will Mom,” Megan said. “Let me finish up.”

Tina was pressed for time. She had to go. But once at the orthodontist’s office she called Megan: Did you sign off?

“No, Mom. They are all being so mean to me.”

“You are not listening to me, Megan! Sign off, now!”

Fifteen minutes later, Megan called her mother. By now Megan was in tears.

“They are posting bulletins about me.” A bulletin is like a survey. “Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat.”

Megan was sobbing hysterically. Tina was furious that she had not signed off.

Once Tina returned home she rushed into the basement where the computer was. Tina was shocked at the vulgar language her daughter was firing back at people.

“I am so aggravated at you for doing this!” she told Megan.

Megan ran from the computer and left, but not without first telling Tina, “You’re supposed to be my mom! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

On the stairway leading to her second-story bedroom, Megan ran into her father, Ron.

“I grabbed her as she tried to go by,” Ron says. “She told me that some kids were saying horrible stuff about her and she didn’t understand why. I told her it’s OK. I told her that they obviously don’t know her. And that it would be fine.”

Megan went to her room and Ron went downstairs to the kitchen, where he and Tina talked about what had happened, the MySpace account, and made dinner.

Twenty minutes later, Tina suddenly froze in mid-sentence.

“I had this God-awful feeling and I ran up into her room and she had hung herself in the closet.”

Megan Taylor Meier died the next day, three weeks before her 14th birthday.

Later that day, Ron opened his daughter’s MySpace account and viewed what he believes to be the final message Megan saw, one the FBI would be unable to retrieve from the hard drive.

It was from Josh and, according to Ron’s best recollection, it said, “Everybody in O’Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you.”

The last words Tina Meier heard from her daughter were “You’re supposed to be my mom! You’re supposed to be on my side!”. Yet those words contain a dual meaning to anyone who is a parent: how is one “supposed to be a mom” and also “be on their daughter’s side” when faced with a situation that Tina Meier encountered with her daughter Megan’s “troubles” that day on the internet? When you factor in that it was only a matter of minutes after Megan ran to her room before she killed herself, it left Tina Meier no time to digest what had occured in regards to Megan’s online dilemma. By time Tina responded, it was too late: Megan had hung herself in her closet and was pronounced dead at the hospital the next day.

To a parent, the death of a child is cataclysmic, a shift in the known Universe. A death in such tragic circumstances, of suicide, of no note, of shock and grief so enormous it cannot be measured, of burying one’s child, anyone who hasn’t experienced it cannot comprehend the toll it takes. It would be six weeks before yet another shock emerged: a neighbor asked Ron and Tina to meet them at their grief counselor’s office. It was then that the details surrounding Megan’s death emerged: of a cruel hoax perpetrated upon their daughter, of the culprit living within their very midst: their “friend” and neighbor, Sarah’s mom, Lori Drew.

Lori Drew

Tina and Ron Meier learned that day that “Josh” on MySpace was a fake and that the instigator had been not only Sarah Drew, but also her mother, Lori. Amazingly, it was the actions of Lori Drew after Megan’s death that also seem unfathomable: still unknown to the Meiers of the true circumstances surrounding Megan’s death, Ron and Tina attended a birthday celebration for Lori Drew’s husband after Megan’s death. The Drews asked the Meiers to store a foosball table, a gift for Christmas, in the Meier’s garage. When the Meiers learned of Lori Drew’s participation in the fake MySpace page, the Meiers “destroyed” the table then dumped it in the Drew’s driveway with the admonition that the Drews should “move away”. Lori Drew responded by filing a police report. The following letter was submitted by Drew to the local police.

It would be year before the details of the hoax and Megan’s death was reported by Steve Pokin in the St. Charles Journal. The outrage surrounding the circumstances of Megan’s death and the fake MySpace Josh was instantaneous. Online, internet users were furious, in Dardenne Prairie, Lori Drew became a pariah. Lori Drew’s name and address were published on blogs. Both local prosecutors and the FBI refused to prosecute Drew, claiming there were no laws on the books to cover such an event. It wasn’t until May of this year that enterprising Federal prosecutors in Los Angeles convened a grand jury were the case against Lori Drew was outlined. Drew was indicted on one count of conspiracy and three counts of “accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information to inflict emotional distress”, charges which are related to the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. Drew’s trial is the first Federal case against “cyber-bullying”. It wasn’t until the course of the ongoing trial that details of what happened to Megan began to finally emerge.

On Friday, prosecutors rested their case after hearing testimony from Megan’s mom, Sarah Drew, and Ashley Grills, an employee of Drew’s, who received immunity in exchange for testifying against Drew. Also heard was a hairdresser who gave testimony about two conversations she had with Drew: one prior to Megan’s death, and another, more chilling exchange between the two the day of Megan’s wake:

According to Dawn Chu, the hairdresser, prior to Megan’s death, Drew told Chu that she had a “funny story” then proceeded to tell Chu how she and Grills had “set up” a MySpace account to “fool” Megan. Chu then testified that, on the day of Megan’s wake, Drew had a second hair appointment, and that Chu had asked Drew why Drew was attending the wake, given her role in the “hoax”. Drew responded: “It’s not like I pulled the trigger”.

Ashley Grill testified that she and Drew’s daughter were “trying to figure out a way to expose Megan for rumors she had been spreading about Drew’s daughter, Sarah”. Grill also testified that she was the one who came up with the fake MySpace page scheme but that Drew “agreed” and “thought it was funny and clever”. Grills set up the page at the Drew home and also testified that Lori Drew was “present”. Grill testified that Drew had a hand in some of the messages sent to Megan and that Drew suggested “Josh” ask Megan to meet him at local mall where Sarah and Ashley would “pop” out and “tease” Megan. Grills testified that when she and Drew’s daughter expressed fear that they would get into “trouble” for using the fake MySpace, Lori Drew told them “it was fine and that people do it all the time”.

The End of the Ruse

“Everybody in O’Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you.”

Purportedly the final message from “Josh” to Megan was that she was a “bad person” and “everybody hates you”. The cruel message continued: “The world would be a better place without you”.

According to the New York Times, Grill also testified that when Drew heard about the “lies” Megan had been spreading about Sarah, Drew had “become angry” and was “eager” to “expose” Megan.

The Plot

The plot was to “lure” Megan into making “nasty remarks” about Sarah, which Drew wanted to present to Megan’s mom. But the original plan “morphed” into other areas, “devised” by Drew. Grill testified that she sent an email with the “world would be better without you” as a ruse in order to get Megan to “dump” the fake Josh and end the charade. According to the AP, when Drew learned of Megan’s suicide, Drew panicked and then asked asked both Grills and Sarah to delete the MySpace account.

Sarah Drew testified and claimed her mother “didn’t know” about the plan and didn’t “find out” until “after it was done”. She also testified that it was Grills who set up the account. But under cross examination, Sarah changed her testimony several times which led to contradictory statements.

Lori Drew has yet to testify and nor will she have to, as the accused. Drew is not on trial for Megan’s death. She has been accused of violating MySpace service terms and creating a false account in order to “harrass” Megan. Lori Drew’s attorney’s defense is that Drew is innocent because she “didn’t know” about MySpace’s terms of service. This is astounding because it implies that Drew was involved but is “innocent” because she didn’t “know the rules”. Even if she “didn’t know the rules” of MySpace, the statement by her attorney doesn’t defend her role in the cyberbullying charges.

None of the charges relate to Megan’s death yet Drew’s attorneys have pointed out that Megan suffered from depression and had undergone therapy. Drew, if convicted, will only face charges of cyber bullying via MySpace, and creating the fake “Josh”. It remains to be seen how the jury will interpret the evidence in the trial as to level of Drew’s participation in devising the fake MySpace page and then sending the messages. Was Drew the “mastermind”, a willing accomplice, or will they decide that Lori Drew had “no idea” what Grills and Sarah were up to on her computer?

According to the latest testimony, Grills was an employee of Lori Drew. Drew gave her “blessing” to setting up the fake MySpace account, and even stated that she thought it was both “clever” and “funny”. Drew participated in some of the “messages” sent to Megan. Drew was “angry” over perceived “lies” told by Megan about her daughter Sarah. The instruction by Drew to Grills and Sarah, to destroy the files on the Drew’s computer, seems to point to someone who knew what they had been involved in was, at least, “wrong”, or could possibly get them into trouble.

After the prosecution rested on Friday, Drew’s defense asked the judge to dismiss the case, that the prosection had failed to prove its case. This is a routine motion filed in trials.

In the aftermath of Megan’s suicide, Megan’s mom, Tina, started the The Megan Meier Foundation, “in loving memory of Megan Taylor Meier”. The Foundation is dedicated to “bring awareness, education and promote positive change to children, parents, and educators in response to the ongoing bullying and cyber-bullying in our children’s daily environment”.

In February of 2008, Steve Pokin interviewed Drew who only spoke about the harrassment she’s received since the story of Megan’s suicide hit the worldwide web and Drew’s personal information was listed. Drew and her family still reside in the same home just down the street where only Ron Meier now lives. He and Tina Meier had divorced since Megan’s death.

Lori Drew told Pokin that she and her family began to receive threatening and vicious cell phone calls as well as text messages. She also stated that “someone” hacked into and changed her cell phone message:

‘This is Lori Drew the world famous MySpace murderer, if you would like some advice about how to kill a beautiful teenager, you have come to the right place.’”

Some of the messages received by Drew were:

a) Go kill yourself b) Murderer c) I can only hope your family name is abused and embarrassed publicly as you deserve. d) God is watching ur every move. Ur a sinner and u will go to hell 2/2 because that’s exactly wat u deserve.”

The outrage at Drew was twofold: that an adult would choose to either be involved in, or be the mastermind of a scheme to “snoop” on her 13-yr-old daughter’s ex-friend by way of a fake personna on a site such as MySpace and that there seemed to be no “justice” for Megan after she took her own life. There was also anger at Lori Drew because she knew that Megan had serious problems dealing with depression and previous thoughts of suicide. Lori Drew, the mom next door, had acted liked a teenager, rather than an adult. But did Lori’s actions rise to the level of criminal negligence? Was Lori Drew, a cyber-bully, or a mom concerned about the welfare of her daughter?

Cyber-Bullys

Bullying isn’t a new phenomenon. Cyber-bullying emerged when people began to use the internet as a form of communication. According to StopCyberbullying.org, cyberbullying is when a child, pre-teen, or teen is “tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted” by another “child, pre-teen, or teen” using the internet, text messaging, or other forms of communication. When an adult enters the picture, the level rises from cyberbullying to cyberstalking, or cyber-harrassment. In other words, an adult “should” know better than to “harrass, threaten, humiliate, torment, or harrass” a kid online or using modern day technology.

Drew claimed she was merely using the MySpace page as a way to “gather” data to present to Megan’s mom, Tina, to “prove” Megan was spreading lies about her daughter, Sarah. In hindsight, one wonders why Lori Drew simply didn’t just speak to Tina Meier about the alleged “lies” being told by Megan, rather than particpating in the MySpace hoax. What started out as a plan to “spy” on Megan and gather “info”, turned into a “fake” relationship between Megan and “Josh”. Megan was “thrilled” to have met a “hot” boy online who “liked” her. The plan spiraled out of control when Megan began to recieve messages from “Josh” that became “nasty” in nature. Megan fought back but allegedly there were “other” teens in the area that had gained access to the MySpace page and “joined” in against Megan. Megan was “publicly” humiliated by way of the MySpace page with messages that said she was “mean to her friends”, had a “fat ass”, and the final message, which Ashley Grills testified to sending to Megan: “the world would be better off without you”.

Megan Meier and Ashley Grills

Ashley Grills has become a key figure in the Megan Meier MySpace hoax. Grills, 18, and an employee of Lori Drew’s at the time of the scheme against Megan, might have had self-esteem problems to deal with herself: she was extremely overweight and not what some would refer to as “attractive” or “hot”. Purportedly Grills attempted suicide after Megan’s death. Grills received immunity from prosecutors to testify against Lori Drew. Out of the three who participated in the “hoax” against Megan, two were adults, Lori Drew, and Ashley Grill. Yet it was Lori Drew, in her mid-forties, and a mother who had known Megan for several years, who had had Megan in her home, and watched Megan grow from a pre-teen, to a budding teenager, who now is on trial in Los Angeles with charges of fraudulently using MySpace and cyberbullying.

The question most often asked in regards to the Megan Meier MySpace suicide is how can a mom (Lori Drew) have done this? A mom’s job is to protect her children, but did the “actions” of Megan rise to the level of what was perpetrated upon her by Lori Drew, Lori’s daughter, Sarah, and Ashley Grills? Any sane person would say absolutely not: Ashley Grills testified that the MySpace plan was hatched in an attemt to “find out” what “lies” or “rumors” Megan was “spreading” about Sarah. Grills also testified that Lori Drew thought the plan was both “clever” and “funny” which seems to draw the conclusion that Lori Drew’s thought process was more in line with those of a pre-teen than that of an adult. Lori Drew’s actions after Megan’s suicide, from the testimony of the hairdresser, who stated that before Megan committed suicide, Lori told her she had a “funny” story to tell, about setting up the fake MySpace page, using a “cute” and hot” fake 16-yr-old boy to lure Megan into an online relationship to “spill” what Megan thought about Drew’s daughter, Sarah. This action by Drew reveals a grown woman who is “enmeshed” in her daughter’s life, whose solutions to a “problem” involving her daughter, consisted of lies and deception, rather than a honest attempt to solve what some would consider part and parcel of raising a teenager. The fact is, teens are notorious for making and breaking up friendships. What has been presented as a “plan” to protect her daughter, Sarah, from Megan, may have actually been revenge, on the part of Lori, Sarah, and Ashley Grills.

Sarah and Megan were off and on again friends. At the time of Megan’s death, she had moved on: she had lost weight, had moved to a new school, and possibly, would make new friends. Jealousy may have come into play: Megan had started a new life and she had left Sarah Drew behind. Sarah, a newly formed teen, wanted to find a way to discover what Megan now “thought” of her via the fake “Josh”. Ashley Grills came up with the plan, the adult in charge, Lori Drew, not only gave her blessing, but also participated.

The Sociopath Mom Next Door

Lori Drew’s actions, both during and after Megan’s death, seem to point to the behaviors exhibited by someone who could be labeled as sociopath.

According to the site, Mcafee, sociopath behaviors include the inability to recognize the “rights” of others, and see their “self-serving” behaviors as “permissable”.

Lori Drew’s actions both before and after Megan’s suicide would seem to fit this criteria. Drew saw no “problem” with setting up a fake MySpace page to lure Megan into a “fake” relationship in order to “get info”. She also “boasted” to others about her plan, claiming it was both “funny” and “clever”. Perhaps “clever by half” and only funny to a relatively few, springs to mind. Drew’s statement to the hairdresser on the day of Megan’s wake, “It’s not like I pulled the trigger”, was extremely callous and showed absolutely no remorse nor empathy for the Meiers.

While sociopaths may appear to be “charming”, they are “covertly hostile” and “domineering”, whose victims are merely “instuments” to be used. Domination and humiliation are part of their arsenal of sociopathic weapons.

One doesn’t have to look too far to see how Megan was used as a means to an end. Megan was ultimately humiliated in front of her peers by an action set forth and approved by Lori Drew. Humiliation, to a thin-skinned teenager, cuts like a figurative surgical knife.

Sociopaths have a grandiose “sense of self” who feel entitled to “certain things” as their “right”:

A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Sociopaths are also pathological liars, and have a lack of remorse, shame, or guilt. They also exhibit “shallow emotions”, callousness, and a lack of empathy along with poor behavior controls and impulsive natures.

Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Lori Drew “blamed” Ashley Grill for setting up the MySpace account. Lori Drew was extremely callous when she told the hairdresser that she wasn’t the one who “pulled the trigger”. She also showed callousness when the Drew family asked the Meier’s to store a foosball table, a Christmas gift, in the Meier’s garage and then called the police after the Meier’s dumped the wrecked foosball table in the Drew’s driveway after learning of the MySpace hoax perpetrated on their daughter. At no point, from the moment Lori Drew learned Megan had committed suicide, until the Meiers learned of the MySpace hoax, did she contact the Meiers and attempt to apologize, nor explain her actions.

Will the ongoing trial give “justice” to Megan Meiers? Again, Lori Drew isn’t on trial for Megan’s death, instead she faces charges that she fraudulently obtained a MySpace account, and engaged in cyberbullying. Lori Drew has already been painted a pariah and has faced the backlash of an enraged public. Drew continues to live in the same house, and the same neighborhood. She’s had to hire attorneys to defend her actions and is now on trial in a Federal Courthouse in Los Angeles.

Megan wasn’t a “saint”. She had violated MySpace terms, along with Sarah, to set up a page with a picture of a “good looking girl” to attract boys online. Yet Megan was 11 or 12 at the time, Lori Drew was in her mid-forties, and a mom, who knew Megan was grappling with issues of deep depression and previous thoughts of suicide. There’s no way to know if Lori Drew feels any sort of “guilt” over Megan’s death. Drew’s tears may only fall, but perhaps only for perceived unjustices doled out to her, not for any pain she’s caused Megan’s family.

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by LBG
Source – I-70 Bridge across Missouri river
Source – Quote Garden
Source – City of Dardenne Prairie
Source – DBKP – MySpace Cruel Prank Leads to Teen’s Suicide
Image – Megan Meier’s Mom