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Denver Democrat Convention: How to Know Democrats are in Town

August 19, 2008
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Two signs the Democrats are about to descend on your city
* Hair-prefect Homeless
* Outbreak of Boll Weevil Democrats

Willie and Lisa

You say you’re homeless and in Denver for the Democrat National Convention?

Have a haircut–on the house!

It seems to be a first — don’t move the homeless, clean them up. That was the work of one salon and the recipients didn’t even seem to care if the Democrats were coming to town. Sly’s Salon at 17th and Grant was offering free haircuts to the homeless Monday.

“To give them haircuts and make them all spiffed up for the Democratic National Convention, because they are part of our community as well,” said Ghandia Gohnson, co-owner of Sly’s Salon.

RidesAPaleHorse observes, “We’re not gonna hide ‘em..we’re gonna clean ‘em up and act like they’re productive citizens.”

Productive or not, the haircuts seem to be proof of the old adage, “Look good, feel good!”

One homeless man agress.

Rusty Johnson hasn’t had a haircut in three-to-four months. He said his appearance during the convention made no difference to him.

“I just want to look good and feel good for myself, that’s all,” Johnson said.

Denver is also restricting airspace during the convention.

The feds are closing airspace over Denver during the convention, even if the plane has no engine or no pilot at all. The Federal Aviation Administration is also warning pilots–or model enthusiasts–that any who stray into the restricted area “result in the use of force”.

The details — spelled out in a “notice to airmen,” or NOTAM, issued by the Federal Aviation Administration — also restricts everything from hang-gliders to model airplanes during the convention, which opens Aug. 25 at the Pepsi Center and runs for four days.

“How many pounds of TNT can a Cessna carry? How many pounds of nitroglycerine can a model plane carry?” Fergus asked. “We don’t know, but the point is the risk is there.”

Of course, one might ask the question–assuredly rhetorical: Why would terrorists blow up the convention of a party who has professed it would rather talk than fight?

It seems an unlikely scenario.

Previously, most terrorists have not been known for being giants of logic. Don’t voice that thought at the Dem Denver event, however.

It most likely would be branded “sterotypically racist” by the denizens of the Pepsi Center.

The Rocky Mountain News also reports that the restriction will affect “crop dusters, hot air balloons and model rockets.”

Crop dusting?

Sounds like Boll Weevil Democrats might thrive in Denver.

by Mondoreb & RidesAPaleHorse

images: RAPH

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2 Responses to Denver Democrat Convention: How to Know Democrats are in Town

  1. CKA in Red State USA on August 19, 2008 at 14:03

    How do know if the Demockacrats are in town?

    A red cloud falls over the city?

    Sales of jackboots rise?

    Newspapers and the radio and T.V. airwaves are blocked?

    Cyberattacks on anything unfavorable increase?

    Old Glory gets flown upside down?

    ERs fill with those having swoon-over-SoetorObama-itis?

    Sales of arugula, tofu, brown rice and assorted “green” veggies explodes?

    Air pollution indices rise from not just the outputs from SUVs but also from the hot stench from the convention hall?

    Just some thoughts, mind you.

    Reply

  2. Katie on August 19, 2008 at 17:56

    And we all have to wait until the white smoke arises from the Convention floor showing that the anointed one has been chosen.

    Oh sorry, that’s Rome.

    Reply

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