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Trench’s Pro Wrestling Report

[NOTE:DBKP's Trench Reynolds usually labors in the fields of crime. With this post, he begins a labor of love: reporting on the drama that is pro wrestling.]

My name is Trench Reynolds and I blog about cr…
No, wait. That’s a different day.

My name is Trench Reynolds and I’ve been a professional wrestling fan since 1982. I first started watching wrestling when I caught a rare TV match of Superfly Jimmy Snuka vs. The Magnificent Don Muraco and I’ve been hooked ever since.

I’ve seen the glory days of The Four Horseman and the rise and fall of Hulkimania. I watched the WWF go from cartoonish to the Attitude Era. I watched every week of the Monday Night Wars.

I started watching the original ECW when the E stood for Eastern.

So I know a little bit about wrestling. I still haven’t figured out where I’m going with these wrestling posts yet, but come along for the ride, won’t you?

So last night was the first night of Vince McMahon’s million-dollar giveaway on Monday Night Raw. I’ll be honest with you: I was glued to the TV and my cell phone was always within arms reach, like a sucker. I only registered once, but I figured that would be enough. So basically, Vince McMahon’s gimmick worked: he kept me–and probably millions of other fans–watching his program.

The only problem was that there wasn’t much in the ring to keep me watching between giveaways.

For example, Ken Kennedy is probably the most entertaining wrestler on RAW today, but when you put him in there with plain Paul Burchill, it’s a snoozefest. Burchill was more entertaining when he was a pirate, but I digress.

Then you throw the usual suspects of John Cena, JBL, and HHH, in there and I could really could’ve cared less. If Randy Orton had been on RAW last night, I probably would have killed myself due to boredom. The only interesting part of RAW last night was when Chris Jericho threw Shawn Michaels into the TV.

Not exactly Roddy Piper hitting Jimmy Snuka with a coconut, but not bad. I was actually surprised by that. I think it would have been more dramatic if HBK had been bleeding, but from what I understand, he doesn’t like to blade all that much.

My point is: if you’re going to use a ratings gimmick like giving away millions of dollars to attract eyeballs, you’re going to need to do something to keep those eyeballs once they’re there.

Right now, RAW is not putting that product on TV–and I don’t see it improving anytime soon.

by Trench Reynolds
image: the sun; Trench Reynolds; Ultimate Wrestling Gallery