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Tales of the Blancasphere

A dose of Blanca for a bright and sunny Monday.

Hillary has been doing my work again. It’s not that she has been trying to derail Barack Obama using the tactics we used against her and Bill in ’90’s. It’s not that she has been trying her best to make him unelectable. It’s not even that she has been sinking her own party. It’s that she has been so stupid to let the right manipulate her and play her like a cheap guitar.

She is the gift that keeps on giving–to the vast right wing conspiracy, of which I have been a loyal member. And here’s the best part, she has been befriended by members of the right, like Richard Mellon Scaife. Others, like Sean Hannity, have come to her aid. She has even appeared on Bill O’Reilly twice. Thank heaven she’s just that dumb.

You see, Hill doesn’t understand that the only reason we are being so nice to her on the right is that we really, really, really want to run against her in the fall. We really can’t run against the black guy, because most of us can’t say “black” without sounding like we are card carrying members of the Ku Klux Klan. Which is just totally unfair to us. Many of us, like myself, stopped carrying the cards a long time ago and just attend the weekend rallies and weenie roasts. Nothing says good eating like a weenie roasted over a burning cross!

Hill doesn’t understand that as soon as the primaries are over, and she is the nominee, we will come down on her like Larry Craig on a teamster at a truck stop bathroom. We have years of material saved up, chirons we are itching to splash across the television screens of America, stories saved up about how she murdered Vince Foster, killed some teenagers in Arkansas, and smuggled drugs in and out of South America.

What she doesn’t know won’t hurt Fox News’ ratings in the fall. When the Fox News Network becomes all Hillary bashing all the time.

So I raise my glass to you Hillary. Thanks for doing my job for me. See you in Denver, when we totally rip you a new one!

by Blanca DeBree
image: blancasphere
Source: Thank Heaven for Stupid Girls

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